Airheads and Campus Intruders

Today, I took three tests and competed in two class competitions. One involved whacking people with sticks (Hockey) and seriously I don't think I'll be bruise or blister free until we move on to weight lifting. I'm so clumsy that by point, I'll most likely have broken my foot by dropping a weight on it. Trust me, it's probably not too far off from the truth. So, yeah... stress has been the overlying theme lately and I don't like it. We all know that teachers get together to devise plans to torture their students the most and today's diabolical plot included all 3 tests and the 2 competitions, but then for extra torment, they added an intruder drill to the day's events. It is during these times that I begin to wonder how some people at my school are able to get dressed by themselves in the morning they are so unintelligent.

During my hockey game (also lovingly reffered to as the gauntlet), my Physical Education teacher had everyone sit down on the burning hot asphalt to explain the appropriate response if an emergency sitaution were ever to occur whilest we were busy outside being physically abused by the opposing team. The plan: "Run like hell teenagers." Not that she said that persay, but it's the thought that counts, right? She states that since we are not near a building we can lock the door to or hide quietly in like all the other lucky students in the classrooms this period, and she is not going to have us evacuate to the tennis courts like the administrators suggested, we just have to run for our lives. Literally. (Sidenote: The tennis courts admin? Really? What, is the the chainlink fence going to protect us? Because it seems to me like then all we would have accomplished is that then we'd all be penned up and open to any danger that was coming at us... but that's just me! You're the one with the important job!) Anyway, our heavily tanned PE instructor also sees fit to inform us that if she gets to the locker rooms before us, that's just too bad for us because she's gonna lock the doors the second she's inside. She's got people at home... sorry adolescents. "So that's pretty much it. Any questions?" she asks. A hand slowly raises in the back and whippit thin coach calls on one of those unintelligants I was telling you of before. (Yeah, we finally got to the point here...) She asks: " But what if they...*gum smack*... like.. start shooting at us?" in the disgusting, nasally, beach babe voice. (Yes, she's also tan, has piercings, and wears platinum blond hair extensions. She's practically a walking stereotype.) Teacher looks at her in the wow, you are very stupid kind of way and luckily dosen't have to answer this because a boy in the back who isn't the smartest bulb in the box can still know the answer: "You keep running and duck. Duh." The teacher sighs heavily and begins to take attendance when stereotype in the back's annoying voice rings out again. This time it says, "But I like..*gum smack* can't duck." (Only she says it more like du-uck in a whiney sort of tone. Apparently she's expecting that her Daddy can come fix her unathletic neck problems by paying someone a large sum of money or something...) Well honey, ... then you'd be dead. That's why you'd be running away from any potential danger or threat on campus in the first place.

Thank goodness this whole scenario is hypothetical...